Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship, Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth When Chuck Norris plays guitar, he doesn't turn it up to 11...he turns it up to 9000! And his guitar is a real axe. Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot, Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone, Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING, Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist, Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing, Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them. Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time, Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost When Chuck Norris gets shot by a tank, the missile gets scared and turns back around, Chuck Norris thinks guns are for girls Chuck Norris once opened the wrong door with a hairpin.He unlocked the secrets of the universe.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship God Created Man, Then God Created Woman To Support The Man! Then God Created CHUCK NORRIS To Support The Women Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked, Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill, What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe, Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever, Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe, Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris, The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer Freddy Krueger saw Chuck Norris drowning Jason Voorhees in his dream last night. When Chuck Norris goes to the drive thru, they have his food ready before he orders it Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.